27 DAYS TO GO - WOLF OF WALL STREET & YOGA

So last night I stayed up well past by bedtime, 1am, to watch The Wolf of Wall Street. Wow...I couldn't not watch it. I felt as though I too was on drugs. I was addicted to this film. It was so extreme in so many ways and the fact that it is based on a memoir makes it even that much more disturbing. Which may of had something to do with my strange mood today. I've just been feeling confused and lost and actually I have been for the last few days. I'm not sure why exactly. And then of course I tell myself I should be able to get my shit worked out right? I mean I live at an ashram. I'm supposed to have control over my mind and be all Zen right? Yeah, no that's a load of crap - at least for me but that's not what I first thought when I got here. I naively thought it would take me a few months of meditating and living an ashram lifestyle (volunteering, not drinking, no TV, and following a discipline) to become a master of my mind and attain a permanent state of peacefulness and joy. Not so. I think if it were that simple ashrams would become the next popular holiday destination. And the ironic thing is, the more you want to 'become' some thing or state the less likely it is to happen since the very act of you wanting is what is stopping you. Damn ego!

So anyway, after not sleeping till about 1:30am I clearly could not wake up early enough for a morning run, yoga or meditation. However I did manage to go to yoga class this afternoon despite having a upset tummy and the blistering heat. It was more like steam-room yoga with the temperature hitting 42 degrees Celsius. Not sure how much longer I can do the classes in the afternoon. I think the mornings will soon become my only option but you never know. Maybe I'll get adjusted to the heat? Here's to hoping.



Exhausted - so not a yogi

 

30 DAY YOGA CHALLENGE

Got my yoga mat and ready to go!

I've been living at an ashram, in northern India, for 1 year and 10 months and I am only admitting this publicly for the first time - I do not like doing yoga. Yup, I ain't keen on doing downward dog or the warrior pose any more than I like having to do dishes. It's a chore, it's boring and I'd rather be doing something more fun like dancing. However, yoga asanas (postures) are proven to be good for your health and since I've been getting sick quite often these past few months, I thought - actually it was suggested to me by Swamiji - that I do yoga everyday. So I'm taking it on as a challenge. I will do yoga at least once a day for the next 30 days starting today. I've already done a class today so I'm down to 29. The countdown begins! Not sure if I'll end up feeling any better physically but the challenge sure spices things up. Why don't I like yoga and why I don't like even calling it that? Perhaps because it's not yoga.

TO BE CONTINUED....(I'm sleepy. It's 8:30pm here and my brain isn't working anymore. I was up at 5:30am for meditation. Sleeping in is waking up at 7:30am to be ready to serve breakfast at 8am! Seriously what's wrong with me.)