JUST ME IN THE WORLD

Something is going on with me. I have been on a journey without really even being aware of it. My understanding was that I was travelling to see South East Asia and learn more about different cultures and see this side of the world and though that’s true, until now I did not realize my travels were actually a journey. A journey that is ever so gently shifting my perspective on life. I haven’t met any gurus or mediated endlessly for hours. I haven’t had an epiphany or committed to changing myself or promised to the powers above to be anything different than who I am. I am simply waking up every day and living: Trekking through rice paddy fields; standing on a hilltop in Cambodia looking out to a stunning view; laughing hysterically with a friend over our silly antics; chatting with novice monks in Luang Prabang; learning more about Buddhism and meditation at a temple in Bangkok; learning about the ‘secret war’ in Laos with a cool travelling buddy; discussing ‘men’ with a new friend where the comfort level feels as though we’ve known each other for years; running through pouring rain in Bali sucking on a ring lollipop with said friend and her broken umbrella; flying through the gorgeous country side of Bali on the back of a motorcycle with a stranger who literally holds your life in his hands – surrendering and trusting this man because you see his kind soul with just a look; talking to other ‘travellers’ on an overnight train through Thailand and surprised at their kindness and willingness to offer guidance in anyway if need be; having thousands of discussions with people who cross your path curious about your travels and realizing you have more in common with this stranger you have just met on the other side of the world than you do with your neighbour back home; having your taste buds explode at the bite of an amazing Indonesian meal; keeping your fingers crossed when you walk alone at night down an alley that the street dogs are calm tonight; looking out at the sea and realizing just how small you are; watching the sunset in Kampot with a cocktail and good company; learning about the atrocities committed by the Khmer rouge and understanding a little more about the pain the Cambodian people have had to face; finally getting to see that massive reclining Buddha idol up close, lowering your eyes when a monk walks by out of respect; witnessing the world- renowned Bali smile and friendliness; dancing your butt off on a sand dance floor at an Irish bar with a group of young energetic Balinese men, sharing intimate stories with a young English bloke and realize his wounds are still so fresh and you hope for the little while he’s with you he forgets his pain; watching a group of ‘ladyboys’ dance in the middle of Bangkok’s Humlaphong train station and knowing a drag show in the middle of a busy train station in North America would likely never happen nor be accepted by the city, stopping to stand still in a busy Chiang Mai market when the Thai national anthem blares over the city speakers; finding cotton candy at this market and remembering your childhood; pushing up against a powerful waterfall after being covered in sweat from trekking to get there; feeding a baby elephant bananas; asking the little girl who is trying to sell you a bracelet for 10 Bhat if she goes to school and what her name is; seeing gorgeous children smile and play in the red-dirt unpaved roads, feeling a little blasé after seeing yet another Wat and feeling guilty for feeling that way; taking comfort in knowing your funds are currently inaccessible and having a father pull through and take care of it; meeting an unexpected man on your last night in Chiang Mai and 48 hours laughing at the reality that you are still in Chiang Mai with the same man; terrified of jumping into the unknown and following your gut and heart even though you promised you would do just that on this travelling experience; relying just on your gut instincts and listening to your own voice when other voices around you can be so much louder; reaching out to friends and having a listening ear, receiving non-judgemental advice and pure love and support because they simply care about you; knowing that wherever you go in the world and in life your family and your best friends will always be with you even when they’re not; standing in the ocean with your eyes closed, feeling the energy of the universe and having your faith reignited; knowing life is unfair but beautiful when you see an innocent baby smile at you; taking in the natural beauty surrounding you every day and realizing that one pure moment of happiness is what the whole point is....

DONATION FOR ANJALI HOUSE

BITTERSWEET ENDING

CLICK ON THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG TO VIEW ALL MY PICS FROM THE REHEARSALS AND MY LAST DAY AT ANJALI

I seriously don't even know how to begin this post. So much has happened since I posted a blog about fundraising for the play I was directing at Anjali. Well let's see: the play was fabulous and the kids did such an amazing job. More importantly, the kids had the time of their lives. I'll never forget seeing their smiles and hearing their giggles as they dashed from on stage to back stage. During the whole process of rehearsals and getting everything prepared, I didn't really have the time to stop and discuss how the kids felt about acting on a stage. It was go, go, go as I would spend my days either running lines with the kids, writing up the play's program as well as chasing down any student who had yet to give me their bio, organising items for the set, making sure each student had their wardrobe. It wasn't until after the curtain call and seeing the smiles on the kids' faces and the countless hugs and presents I got that I realized how much the kids loved putting on the show and how much they appreciated what we had accomplished. As I gave each kid a hug telling them what a wonderful job they did, they would get shy and look away but their big smiles just gave away the enormous pride they felt and all that effort I put in made it all worth it. There were tears and laughter and loads of hugs as I said good-bye to my kids and to my time at Anjali and even now, five weeks later as I sit in a zen-like cafe in Bali, I still miss them and think about them often. An unforgettable experience that captured my heart. It's only a matter of time when I head back to Siem Reap and Anjali.



Pech, Me and Vireck poking his head in from behind



Lead actor Pheaktra - so proud of him. I was told by a long time volunteer Pheaktra wouldn't even look at people in the eye just two years ago- He blew the audience away!



Chanroat, leading lady, Malin (the best stage manager ever!) and Vireak - a dedicated actor



The adorable Chy who's a natural at acting



The boys enjoying dinner at our after party

Sreylin - my partner in crime

The kiddies enjoying the wrap party meal

Telling the kids how proud I am of them



The kids practicing a scene



Doing the dance with Pheaktra (the video flips upright half way through)

FUNDRAISING FOR THE KIDS OF ANJALI

Many of you already know that I'm teaching the kids drama and putting on a play at the NGO I'm volunteering at, Anjali in Siem Reap. We're only a week away from performing and there’s still so much to do which is why I need your help. The kids have been rehearsing daily and trying very hard at perfecting their pronunciation of difficult words like 'humiliate' and 'graduating'. There are many challenges and obstacles but when I see the effort and dedication these 14 and 15 year old's have, it makes it all worth it.

The kids at Anjali are so full of life, I sometimes forget they are former street kids who had no access to education prior to Angali; however lately as I have been trying to organize wardrobe for the play, I'm reminded where these kids have come from. When I asked the kids to bring in their own clothes from home, many turned up with just one or two t-shirts and one pair of pants. I want the kids to have the experience of putting on a real production with wardrobe, props and a wrap party at the end of it all.

My goal is to raise $400US and anything above that would go towards educational items for the kids at Anjali. $10 will provide one kid with a 3 course meal at Butterflies Garden (www.butterfliesofangkor.com) where we are performing. There are 26 cast members.

Below are some pictures of the kids of Anjali and rehearsals. Enjoy and thanks in advance for giving:)

For more information about Anjali click on the title of this blog.

To donate, click on the button below which redirect you to Paypal's website. You can donate even if you don't have an account with PayPal. All you need is a credit card.

My leading lady, Chanroat


Sokuam and Chy


Sokuam plays around with a wig during weekend rehearsals

Taking a break during rehearsals

Me and Chompa - she's one of the musicians in the play


I didn't know the kids were recording - they love playing with my camera


The kids learn the lyrics to 'Can't take my eyes off of you' which they'll be singing in the play


Vireck shows off his dancing moves


Rehearsing on the rooftop at Globalteer


My amazing assistant director/khmer teacher stepping in for the part of Vesna during rehearsals


Practicing their dance moves to 'Can't take my eyes off of you'


Boys walk on stage to practice their dance

SOCCER

So it's soccer season here in the NGO world. There is a league and everything. This was all set up by an English guy and the rules are the same as they would be in England. The games are on Sunday and so far I've only gone to one game but I'm hoping to catch another.

REHEARSALS

So we're now at the point where 95% of the kids have all their lines memorized. It's been difficult to get everyone together at one time to practice and this has actually only happened once. And to be honest with only 2 and a half weeks before performance day, I'm afraid the kids won't exactly be ready but even if I did post-pone for another month there's no guarantee the kids would be ready by then either. I'm asking a lot from the kids. The kids are still learning how to speak in proper English sentences but I'm having them memorize conversational dialogue while trying to comprehend exactly what their character is saying and at the same time act believably- not exactly easy but I just know that if the kids pull this off, they will be so proud of themselves and their confidence will just shoot through the roof. I've already seen improvement in many of the kids. It's so rewarding seeing the kids push themselves and then getting better and better. It's sounds so cheesy but watching the kids act and nailing a dialogue with perfect pronunciation makes all the challenges and frustrations worth it, even when we are rehearsing in the heat;)

Amphai (the shiest one of them all) and Srey


Sokuam being silly and Chy sipping on pumpkin soup


Funny boy, Sokuam


Boreith's turn to be silly (Loplop in Khmer)


The advance class trying to learn their lines

Last week I took the kids to Pannasastra University. Since the Anjali students are playing college kids in the play I wanted them experience what it would be like to be a college student - I was trying to incorporate a bit of method acting here. Eight students, Sreylin (the Khmer teacher) and I biked over on a Tuesday morning. There wasn't really much to observe in terms of the building itself. It was basically just a two floor, L-shaped building with basic square rooms for classrooms that could fit about 40 students into one. Nothing like the massive campuses we have back home. This looked more like a western style motel. Anyhow, I had arranged for us to sit in on the English class. There was a lovely foreign teacher, I think she was from the U.K., who welcomed us in. I gave a brief explanation as to why we were there and what I was doing with the kids. After about 20 minutes of just observing, the Anjali kids were paired up with one of the college kids to see what they were learning and to have a chat if they so wished. It was so adorable seeing these shy kids conversing, in English, with these 'older kids'. At the end of the class, my kids got to stand in front of the classroom, which was intimidating for them, and ask the college students any thing they wanted. The questions were what I expected; "What do you want to do after you graduate?"; "What is your favourite subject?"; "How long have you been studying for?". All in all, I thought it was a successful attempt at getting the kids more into their characters and have them think about where they want their own futures to lead to.

FIELD TRIP TO PANNASASTRA UNIVERSITY

TEARS, TEMPLES, AQUA AND BUTTERFLIES

So the past two weeks have been interesting. I've experienced so much in such a short period of time which is making time fly and I'm trying to hold on to each moment before it's my time to say good-bye to Siem Reap. I'm not ready:( So there are approximately 120 kids that come to Anjali everyday and I've gotten close to lots of them however there are a few that hold a special place in my heart. One of these amazing kids is 13 year-old Chy. The other day I was walking towards the bathroom when I noticed Chy sitting alone in one of the class rooms crying. It took a little bit of prying to get her to open up but when she did it broke my heart. Chy told me she was afraid that she would never see her mother again. See Chy and her younger brother live with their maternal grandmother. Chy's Dad is an alcoholic who, according to Chy, hits his wife and the kids. The grandmother, who owns the home, refuses to let Chy's Dad live with them so she's kicked him out however Chy's mother refuses to live without her husband so she has to choose between living with her children and living with her husband. Not exactly a common western teenage girl issue going on here. I sat there watching this usually very cheerful, intelligent, beautiful girl struggle to get the right English words out through her sobs to explain to me why she was so upset. It was more than heartbreaking because as I sat there in foreign territory not knowing what to say or do, I was so afraid I would say the wrong thing and this gorgeous little child would shut down. In return for telling me why she was crying Chy wanted me to promise not to tell anyone. But I was way in over my head and I knew I could not make that promise so I somehow managed to persuade Chy to let me tell Kimsan, one of the social workers. I practically let out a loud sigh of relief when Chy agreed because I would not know the first thing to do to resolve this domestic issue. I then gave Chy a hug and told her we would help even though I didn't know if there was anything Anjali's social workers could do. As Chy wiped her tears and pulled herself together she said "thank you" and then walked downstairs to join school assembly. As soon as she was out of sight, the tears welled up in my eyes and I had to fight to keep it together. Alone in the washroom I wanted to just let the tears go but I was afraid that if I did, they wouldn't stop. I went back down and saw Chy getting on with the other kids as though nothing had happened. It's what the kids do here, it's what they have to do here. At the end of the day while I was at my locker, Chy called out to me from the front gate. I went out and saw Chy's father speaking with Kimsan while Chy's mother was hiding in the shop behind. I approached Kimsan and asked him what was going on. Kimsan explained to me that Chy's father is not much of a drunk as he used to be and that he doesn't think he really beats the wife although does think he probably uses force at times. Personally I believe Chy. Chy and her brother looked on as the father explained to Kimsan the issue. Chy was in tears at this point and her mother was still in the shop hurled over as apparently her stomach was in pain. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Chy's father told his family to all get on his moto. Kimsan was still trying to translate for me what had just happened. I'm still not too sure. The next day at school Kimsan said he would let the dust settle and try to talk to the family if they were not able to resolve the problem on their own. It's been a week and what Chy was afraid of happening has happened. Chy's mother has chosen to live with her husband far away from the children. Kimsan doesn't think there's much that he can do since this is a family issue which is not affecting Chy's attendance at school. Chy still comes to school everyday but that sparkle I'd see in her eyes everyday has vanished and it just breaks my heart. I know there's nothing I can say or do to help this little girl and I know she's disappointed in Anjali and perhaps in me for not being able to make her mom stay. I wish I could make her come back...

Two Friday's ago it was 3 volunteers' last day so the 4 of us volunteers took out 4 Khmer teachers for dinner. We dined at a local restaurant. 3 of us ordered chicken with lemongrass but did not know we would be eating the bits of chicken leg, the meal was not good. It was my first meal at a local restaurant and although I didn't enjoy my meal I'm still willing to try another local restaurant considering everyone else enjoyed their meals. We were then joined by another Khmer teacher and her friend and decided we hit a local dance club. I was pumped since this would be my first time. The outside of the club looked like a cheap strip joint in Las Vegas. The neon lights matched those on the outside and as we made our way in our conservations were muted out by the blaring music. From then on I was limited to communicating using my cell phone as a notepad. I felt like I needed alcohol to kill any bacteria I may have consumed during dinner so I got myself a gin and tonic and then another. I saw a few foreigners around but this was definitely a Khmer place. After about an hour of English songs the music turned Khmer and I was pumped to learn how to dance local style. It's hard to describe the style but I'd say it's a bit like hula dancing with the hands making sway like movements however there isn't much hip movement. It's more of a bopping while swaying your hands from one side to the next. It was really neat to be dancing to Khmer music. That was the highlight of the night.

Eating at the Khmer restaurant



On Sitha's moto heading to the club




At Blue Sands dance club




That same weekend Gemma and I did sunrise at the mother of all temples, Angkor temple. I slept in only to be woken up by a phone call by Gemma at 5am asking if I was just about ready. I jumped out of bed and was downstairs in 10 minutes! I don't think I've ever moved that fast that early in the morning. We were at Angkor by 5:30am and sat on one of the structures waiting for the sun to rise. The place was packed with tourists all eagerly awaiting to see the stunning colours that usually accompany a sun rise. By 6am it was getting lighter however the sky was only a light pinky orange. We didn't get an amazing sunrise but it wasn't that bad either. So after about 6 hours of touring temples Gemma and I were exhausted and headed back home and treated ourselves to another evening at Aqua which is now 'our' hangout.


Angkor Wat, the sunrise and its reflection





Bayon Temple





Angkor monkey enjoying coke



I saw Lady Gaga!



I have been really busy at school with rehearsals. The kids are working really hard and memorizing is coming along. We have gone over the definition and pronunciation of 'big' words used in the scrip such as humiliate and engagement. Some of the kids pronunciation is amazing and certain kids have surprised me with their improvement. I held rehearsal at Anjali two Saturday's ago with everyone who is in the play including some of the Khmer teachers. It was a successful day and I could have used more time with the kids but with the warm sun beating down on us and the kids' concentration levels, it was time to call it a day after 4 hours. However it wasn't all just work, there were times of uncontrollable laughter and snacking on mandarins which I had bought for the kids. Even though I was pooped after, I couldn't have imagined spending my Saturday afternoon any other way. Of course I then treated my self to meeting up with Gemma at 'our' second home, Aqua. We chilled for a while, had a couple of lime drinks and called it a night. I got sick last week. I think it was my own cooking that did me in. It all came out in the middle of the night and the morning brought a fever along with the nausea. I felt terrible for missing school since I had promised the kids we would check out Pannasastra University. I was going to take the kids there to basically observe university students- a little bit of method acting. The kids are playing university students in the play. We've changed the date to tomorrow. I'm actually really looking forward to seeing a Cambodian University and I think the kids are too. Some of the kids are trying so hard to memorize their lines and get the pronunciation right it just melts my heart when I see their dedication and patience as I repeatedly grill them on their lines. We may move the date back one week which means I'll get to stay in Siem Reap one more week!

A day at school



Taking a break during rehearsals





Okay so Gemma and I had a fabulous night at Aqua this past Sunday. We've gotten to know the owner, John, quite well and so we got an invite to his BBQ. The usual crowd was there including Gemma's crush and my, well let's just say he's not my anything but I had one date with him and I've learnt he's a bit of a butterfly. Let me explain. So Gemma and I were sipping on cocktails one night at Aqua and we got chatty with the bartender Dalin who began spilling on the guys at Aqua. She said all men are the same and described them as 'butterflies' which basically means that they like to flutter around to many girls at the same time. In the western world we call these men cheaters. I like butterfly instead;) So yeah Bertrand, that's the frenchy's name, I've learnt is a butterfly and apparently a big one at that. Ugh, story of my life! So anyway at this BBQ we all chatted and mingled and of course frenchy shows up and tries to start a conversation with me. Bertrand was sitting on the other side of the bar, which I was grateful for. At one point he tried to move over and start a conversation when Gemma had gotten up for a moment but then it was too late as Gemma got back and provided the wall between us. Frenchy didn't seem pleased and then expressed his annoyance by calling Dalin, me, Gemma and the girl we had just met, witches. In his french brain I know he didn't mean it in a bitchy way but to express that he wasn't happy about the gossiping that had gone on a few nights before when I found out he had a girlfriend. Anyway after frenchy left, Gemma and I had a really good conversation with Jess and after a few cocktails, Jess and John agreed to name a drink after me. It's a lime drink with a bit of sugar and a shot of vodka. The Puja is the most delicious drink I've had! After sipping MY drink, I promised John I would take him to the gym would me and we'd get him back in his old military form once again. Manning a bar in a tropical island is not kind to the belly. Working out with John begins tomorrow! Have I mentioned I love this place and never want to leave?