LIFE IS SHORT

Life is too short....a Russian woman who was living at the ashram for the past year left about two weeks ago to go back home because her illness was getting serious. I just found out today that she died or as I like to say, her soul left her body. She was a lovely woman and I remember a conversation we had that left me feeling calm and reasured. I am happy because I know she isn't suffering anymore. I'm reminded to live in each moment fully, not to take one second for granted and to burn with life every day because who knows when it will be your last. I must go after my dreams, I must live, live, live...life is an adventure unfolding at rapid speeds and you just gotta stay open and ride the waves...RIP Luba. शांति 

THE KIND OF EDUCATION I NEED

I’m receiving an education- education about life. I wonder why in the system we currently live we don’t receive this kind of education before any other. It seems so absurd to me now how in school we try to understand difficult laws of physics without knowing the big picture. It’s like trying to figure out the speed at which an object hits the ground without knowing that gravity exists.

I have no plans for the future and I feel amazing. Life is unfolding and I’m riding the waves and listening to my soul while doing my best to take in every little detail. Life is just a breath.  ahhhhh....

Some pictures and videos I forgot to post earlier:

Ganga Ma in Rishikesh

Dancing to 'Bol Churiyan' during Indpendence Day celebration at the ashram - I played a guy. Can't do the Indian girl dance moves;)

 

 

 

 

 

DIWALI AT AUROVALLEY

Nov. 13, 2012

This was the best Diwali celebration I've had that I can remember. It was filled with light and not just from the hundreds of candles we lit in the meditation hall and around the entire ashram but light also from deep within. I felt the darkness diminishing inside and I could sense my soul begin to glow. And it was so beautiful sensing this inside myself as well as seeing the light shining from those around me. The day was filled with a charged energy and it ended aptly with fireworks at the world temple site (read more about this amazing building to open on 12.12.12 here: http://www.aurovalley.com/index.php/aurovalley-ashram/world-temple) followed by Om chanting. However I was given another beautiful gift after I came back to my room. Diana (Colombian woman who basically runs this place with Swamiji - she's been here 10 years) called me to wish me a Happy Diwali and to tell me I have a sweet presence which she thanked me for. It was so unexpected and so lovely to hear. My heart is light to today in every sense of the word. I am grateful for this beautiful life.

Some pictures from last night (and general ones) not taken by me since my camera was not working. Enjoy!



 

Walk-way to the Meditation Hall

Inside the meditation hall

In the Om room -I'm leaning by far pillar on the left

 

 

Savitri Library&Om room ontop/ Building on the right: Yoga hall & music room uptop


 

Satsang (Q&A) with Swamiji in the library: I'm 3rd from the left in white

Renovated bookstore

The whole ashram with the view of the World Temple under construction (on the right)

Ashram kids in the Ganga



school & tailoring building and of course the beautiful palm trees





 

DANCE BABY DANCE - MY MISSION STATEMENT

Nov. 9, 2012 - inspiration from a road trip

It’s quite interesting how a shift in perspective can provide for such a different experience in something you’ve already been through. The view outside the car window as we pass through the towns that lie between Rishidwar and Delhi have more or less displayed the same reality the five times I’ve travelled  to and from; however, this time something is different. And if it isn’t what my eyes are seeing then it has to be how my eyes are seeing. Yes the side of the roads are still littered with garbage and small heaps of the trash is burning as the poisonous flames are being fumed in by those in close vicinity. The starving ‘holy’ cows fester on the left overs that haven’t already been snatched up by the stray dogs which in most cases are plastic bags. And of course there are the usual slums and begging children. But this time something is completely different. I don’t see these scenes as sad scenarios that have happened to people by an unfortunate set of circumstances. No. We did this. You, me, each one of us. We as a human race have put ourselves here in this mess. We’re so afraid. We’re afraid we’ll get left behind, we’re so afraid that if we let go and believe in a higher, greater good, we’ll get thrown under and our neighbour who didn’t get trapped by this so called ‘higher’ thinking will be one step ahead and closer to winning this apparent race we’re in. We’re all trying so hard to keep pushing forward without knowing what the destination is.  The old Puja wants to cry. The one that used to hurt for these souls, the one who used to see the pain in the eyes of a crippled beggar and pray she could make it all better. But not Me. I know I can never do enough in this physical world for these people. I can’t take away their pain permanently. Sure I can hand them rupees and perhaps make them smile for a little longer that day but that’s not going lift them up. A few extra rupees from my hand to theirs will only confirm a reality they’ve become so accustomed to. No. What I used to perceive as ‘helping’ isn’t helping. What I used to believe as ‘selfish’ is actually the only thing each of us can and should do. Be you and you 100%. Step up. Don’t quietly step into the position you think you’re meant to be in, the place you’re so convinced you’re supposed to be in, the situation you assume you should be in. Don’t accept the truth of what others tell you as the only one, don’t shy away from your own strength which can create or destroy anything. Don’t fear your own power, your own godliness. You, just you, have the power to change the world. Accept that truth. Don’t play in this world as though you’ve stepped into someone else’s sandbox. Your job is to build your own playground, build it any which way you like. Rip it up and make a mess, this world is yours to dance up a storm in. So stop being a wallflower, blast your own music and dance to your own rhythm and it may just be then that your neighbour will flow suite, crank his stereo and start busting a move. Dance folks, fucking dance your ASS OFF!!!!

A LITTLE BIT OF OBAMA AT THE ASHRAM

Nov. 7, 2012- 8pm

I don’t really know how to describe how I felt today while I was viewing all the Facebook feeds of people commenting on the election coverage. I’ve never been so out of the loop and the journalist in me couldn’t help feeling like she was missing out on something important. Being on the other side of the world having realizations about life daily is definitely much more important to me however I still had this urge to watch Obama’s presidential victory speech on-line and so I did this evening on my little Lenovo laptop outside my room alone in the dark. I was surprised at the strong Internet connection which made for uninterrupted viewing but I was even more surprised at the goose bumps I felt popping up while watching him speak about hope. There’s a reason America voted for him. He provides hope- a reason to keep trying for something better. And it’s a wonderful message and much needed I’m sure but if only all knew the truth about life and why we’re here on this planet perhaps we wouldn’t need to put our faith and trust in one man, in one administration.  Perhaps we could rise up above politics and discover that we’re here to unite with one other, we’re here to unite with the Supreme Consciousness-The Divine in each of us. We all need to rise up and become our own leader.

THE TRUTH

I always thought 'finding yourself' was when you took time to discover what your core personality was and how to strengthen it. But this isn't so, well at least it's not my definition anymore. Finding myself has been understanding WHAT I am not WHO I am according to my personality traits. It's the what one should be concerned about not the who. And the what is something I've been trying to understand my whole life. I thought being human meant being a mind, thoughts, body and soul and sure this is all true but there's a whole other part. The part that is in charge of the soul- that mysterious part of you that gives you intuitions sometimes. It's the part that runs the whole system. I mean have you ever stopped and wondered how your heart is pumping or mind running? Yes, cells which are made up of atoms and atoms are made up of an electron, proton and a nucleus. But what's giving energy to those particles? That's what I needed to know and not just intellectually but I needed to know it by realizing it. And this is where I couldn't use my intellect, for the first time, to understand something. I just needed physical and mental silence and my breath. John Mayer got it right when he wrote the song Bigger than my body. We are all much, much, much more than our body. We carry the Universe inside. It's quite spectacular, it is indeed!  

TURNING 32 AND FINDING PEACE

It’s my 32^nd birthday today. I hope I can maintain this peaceful feeling all day. It seems like I’ve been away from the ashram for more than two and a half weeks. Things have changed: there’s way more people here and the temperature has dropped drastically. It’s really cold in the mornings and evenings now- good thing I brought my warm clothes from Delhi even though I think once November hits even they won’t suffice.

From today onwards I’m going to vow not to focus on all I thought I would have accomplished by now and just be in the moment. It’s nice to just BE – I have a hard time with that. My mind likes to take me down the road of harmful thinking which has me wondering what more I could or should have done to make myself happier. Thing is I don’t want to concern myself with happiness anymore. It’s none of my concern. My only job is to just be and follow my soul’s calling. Happiness will figure itself out;) To figure out exactly what my soul wants, I need time. Time to change the way my mind works or perhaps just getting my mind to stop it’s habitual thinking pattern. That would be a huge accomplishment.  

Anna, a girl a year younger than me, came over to me today just to talk and find out what happened with my visa. She and I had got to know each other when I had helped her with covering some books with plastic for the library and also because I had edited Satsangs she had transcribed. Anyway, I filled her in on my trip to Delhi and she was so open and receptive and positive. It was really nice and I really needed it. She helped to restore my faith in this path I’m on. Not everyone, actually not very many people at all, will understand why one would choose to live in an ashram. It’s nice to know another female my age is here for the same reasons as me and has gone through some tough moments but is now finally feeling connected and clear about her life. It was so beautiful to listen to her and watch her speak with such enthusiasm – she wasn’t always like this. It was such a generous birthday present and I really couldn’t have asked for more. I’m hopeful again and I’m so grateful I’m here. I’m 32 and I feel blessedJ