2012 has gone by in a flash but isn’t that how we always
describe each year as its nearing its end? There’s bound to be the usual
discussion with friends and family how it’s been a good year and how you’re
looking forward to 2013 and although you say you don’t make New Year’s
resolutions you privately tell yourself you’ll workout more, eat healthier, be
less negative and generally try to be better. But when you’re on your own and
reflect on the year gone by you can’t help but think about all the things you
didn’t accomplish. And you tell yourself and others you don’t believe in regret
but for some reason you can’t help wishing you had taken that extra step, gave
it another go, taken that risk, fallen through on that crazy idea, skipped
tradition, chased your childhood dream but you tell yourself, ‘next year. I
always have next year.’ But that’s just it, you may not.
As I sit here now in the bubble that is Aurovalley ashram (www.aurovalley.com) situated in an open
valley surrounded by the Ganga and the Himalayan foothills, I’m not immune to
the uproar that is going on all over India. A young female University student
who had been brutally raped and tortured by 6 men on a moving bus in New Delhi
succumbed to her horrific injuries and passed away Saturday. That girl with all her hopes and dreams, who
has left the Earth with the world outraged by this brutality, won’t get next
year. She won’t get a chance to think about all that she accomplished and all
she still hopes to accomplish. She won’t get another chance to contemplate
following through on that difficult but so rewarding task, she won’t get to
chase her dreams. It’s too late for her. But it’s not too late for you and me.
As the New Year rolls in and I look back to the year that
was, I realize that for the first time ever I did exactly what I wanted. I didn’t hold back, I followed my heart and
lived a crazy adventure. Yet I too wonder, did I live to the maximum, did the
fire in me burn for life at every moment, and did I push my ego out of the way
and let the Universe play? The answer is no, not entirely. I let fear, doubt
and negativity take hold every once in a while and it was at those times I lost
balance and made decisions that weren’t in tune with what my soul yearned for -
to find my true self : the deepest, purest, unchanging part of me that has all
the answers. I’m finally beginning to
understand what living means. And for me it is not about waking up and thinking
‘another day of work, here I go,’ nor is it about thinking about the million
other things I would prefer to be doing nor is it about thoughts of tomorrow
and all the things I should get done. No that ain’t living, at least not for
me. I’m done being me. I’m done being reduced to just thoughts, emotions and a
body. I always wondered as a kid, what
else? This can’t be all. Who knew a 13 year old kid would be onto something
when she thought to herself, ‘why do we wake up every day and take a breath? What
for?’ 19 years later and the answers are being revealed to me.
So as the clock strikes 12 and you pause to reflect,
remember that you’ve just been given another chance, another moment to seize,
another opportunity to pull the drapes back and let your soul shine. And if you
don’t understand anything of what I’ve said, close your eyes and know that
somewhere deep within your soul knows exactly what I mean.
