I'm surprised by the human mind's complexity. I can feel the mixture of textures and colours trying to escape his mind through his broken English. I can see the light shine through her eyes even though her demeanour suggests an indignation towards having to cope with being a teenager growing up in Cambodia. The duality that is constant in people's mind never ceases to confuse, frustrate,enlighten and entertain me. I consider myself lucky.
My secrets seem trivial compared to the hundreds of people that cross my path everyday. My mistakes and misfortunes are like little scratches on a tin roof holding up a home along a side road in Siem Reap's village: Inconsequential.
I didn't leave my job because I was a woman on a mission to save the world but rather on a mission to save herself. If I had kept on with my life, putting on the nice suit and polished heels, hair straightened and make-up perfected, I would have, sooner or later been wearing that same suit to my own funeral. See I struggle with happiness. I sometimes feel like when the fetus was developing, the right amount of chemicals that make serotonin failed to complete. So now, for the last 7 or 8 years, I've had to ingest 'happy pills' to make up for a job incomplete. Nature failed my mind at birth. But I'm not complaining. I wouldn't be who I am now if it weren't for those failed attempts to end my life. I am a survivor, physically and mentally and that has surprised me over the years. The unknown resilience to keep on pushing through. I still surprise myself.
My secrets seem trivial compared to the hundreds of people that cross my path everyday. My mistakes and misfortunes are like little scratches on a tin roof holding up a home along a side road in Siem Reap's village: Inconsequential.
I didn't leave my job because I was a woman on a mission to save the world but rather on a mission to save herself. If I had kept on with my life, putting on the nice suit and polished heels, hair straightened and make-up perfected, I would have, sooner or later been wearing that same suit to my own funeral. See I struggle with happiness. I sometimes feel like when the fetus was developing, the right amount of chemicals that make serotonin failed to complete. So now, for the last 7 or 8 years, I've had to ingest 'happy pills' to make up for a job incomplete. Nature failed my mind at birth. But I'm not complaining. I wouldn't be who I am now if it weren't for those failed attempts to end my life. I am a survivor, physically and mentally and that has surprised me over the years. The unknown resilience to keep on pushing through. I still surprise myself.
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