The Countdown Has Begun

I've got just a little over two weeks before I fly out to Cambodia. I'm sitting on my comfortable warm bed in my room at my parents house. I quit work about a month ago, I'm 31 and I have no idea if what I'm about to do makes any sense at all. Actually I know it doesn't make 'sense' in the world I live in now: family oriented, conservative Ottawa. Everyone around me is either married with kids, newly married, engaged, in a serious relationship or looking forward to one of the above. Not to mention, EVERYONE i know has a 'job, job' which is my definition of a stable 9-5 job. What does that say about me amongst all these people? I don't fit. I never did in Ottawa. Why did I ever come back when I spent my entire teenage years itching to get out? I know why. I listened to my head instead of my heart. Never Again! So instead I'm about to embark on an adventure that will take me first to Cambodia for 6weeks to volunteer then wherever my heart desires and then....well wherever my wallet will allow me;)

Les Femmes Fatales

It's been a little more than a month since A Fateful Meeting of Les Femmes Fatales ran 5 successful shows at the Arts Court and since I've been in Jennifer's sexy heels. Man did I ever have a fun time playing the strong, confident Femme Theda Bara dolled up as Cleopatra. Doing this play was my first since moving to Ottawa 19 months ago. I have waited way too long to get my feet wet in theatre. Everyday at rehearsal was a realization that I can no longer put acting on the back burner. It's really the only thing in life that lights me up. Well other than playing with little children and acting like a child myself. My fellow actors were so fun and great to work alongside. I wish we had a longer run but I'm happy with the outcome. I do miss being on stage and challenging my skills every night which makes it even that much harder to put acting on hold again for a little bit as I decide to engage in my other passion, working with children. The Femme in me has been lit and I'm ready to take her along with me wherever I go!

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall

Inspirational moments are far and few in between of the daily happenings of everyday life but when you feel them approaching you stand prepared and open ready to accept whatever it may bring your way. I'm having one right now while I listen to Coldplay's latest song Every Teardrop is a waterfall . Another chapter of my life is about to begin while an old familiar one is about to close. I'm uncomfortable, anxious, scared, sad and excited all at once which make for a pretty exhilarating feeling. Life in Ottawa has been educational, exciting at times, stressful and familiar but I'm ready to move on. Move on what I'm not really sure of but i have faith Mr. Life will help carve out the path ahead.

Auditioning...ugh

Why is it that when you don't get a part that you didn't care too much for to begin ith, it hurt likes hell. When you find out the director/casting director 'decided to go another way' it's as if someone says you "you're worthless, useless and there's no point to your life." AHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH perhaps I wasn't cut out for this??????

Ottawa's deadly winter

Can weather really be that big a factor in making me question how much longer I can stay in Ottawa? I think it may just be the perception of warmth and sunshine that has me thinking this way but really when you're walking outside in -25 degrees Celsius and all you can think about is getting indoors, its hard not want to chase the sun....oh palm trees, maybe I was one of you in my past life???

Just Another Day

Impatience, anger, frustration all resonate with me on a daily basis. How do I rid myself of these feelings. It's as though they just brew inside me from the moment I wake up. Is this really who I am or are these emotions trying to tell me I'm off balance and I need to find my way back to calmness and contentment??
I'm hoping my work with MDO (Mood Disorders Ottawa) and YLC (yourlifecounts.org) will tip the scale back to balance:)

http://www.mooddisordersottawa.ca/

http://www.yourlifecounts.org/

A New Me?

Has my short trip to India provided me with some insight I didn't expect to receive? I definitely feel more relaxed and clear headed and the world does seem a bit more positive than when I left. I think experiencing the essence of India has me rethinking and revaluing a lot in my life as well as my innate trait of being cynical. I'm done being so negative about every aspect about my life. I need a change, I need more sunlight in my thoughts:)