My beach wall

Start from the bottom and scroll up. I'm surprised at how far it's come and I'm not even done!

wondering

I've made no risks since my last blog. Maybe that will be my new years resolution; To take risks and just go for it. Maybe I'll do the L.A. thing next year instead of 2011. I mean it's not like I'll be better prepared in 2011 than I am now. I can't wait to see my new headshots. I wonder if it'll make a difference.
You know what I like about blogs, you can say and write whatever you like in any way you like. You don't have to be grammatically correct. Love it.
I got nothing today

NO TITLE

I just finished watching My Sister's Keeper. It was good. The book was better but then again they always are. But they did a good job making it into a film. It was sad, I cried.
I've started on the palm trees. I've almost completed one whole tree! So exciting. My sister came over the other day and she said it looked professional! Yah! I'm not the amateur I thought I was. My place is feeling more and more homey.
So last night when I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I wondered, if I were to die today and I could look back on my life and do things differently, what would I change. After moments of pondering this question I realized I would have been fearless. I've realized I've lived most of my life making decisions based on my fears. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of making a mistake. And now, knowing that most likely I'll live a while, do I really take this information and take the risks I've wanted to for so long or do I just keeping living, the way I always have?

Argggggggggggg

Jealousy, sadness, anger, frustration, loneliness, stubbornness, fear...life. Arg...I hate life sometimes. I really do. It's never easy is it.

?

It's quarter to 2am on Monday November 16th. I'm really tired but don't want to shut eye just yet. I had a very hectic day at work today but fulfilling. I'm glad I booked a chat on Burma. I'm realizing I can push for issues if I pitch the idea well. Being 'the media' makes you wonder where you belong is this information feeding machine. I mean am I really responsible or is it the powers above who are to blame for media frenzy??

Crisis?....I think not

I find that I'm so angry lately. I think it's a 1/3 life crisis or maybe I'm just cranky right now because everywhere I look it's a reminder of what I don't have. And as I write this I realize how selfish I must sound. I mean here I am sitting in an apartment in downtown Toronto with everything i need. I've got a hot cup of tea next to me and a fridge full of food. Ok so maybe not full but I've got food but I'm complaining about what i don't have?! Arg....see and this is why I don't' like myself sometimes. I have so much to be happy for yet I'm longing for the dream.....

Dating

Ok so I've mentioned I'm 29 and so I'm no longer considered 'still young enough.' It's almost as if hitting 30 and still being single is a curse put on you by Satan's ugly female cousin singletan because everyone around you is trying to set you up or giving you advice on how to meet men. Considering I have been single for a while now I'm totally open to it but the problem is I'm still not meeting men I like! It really makes you wonder if you'll be single forever but you must push that thought out of your head because 'negative thinking will get you nowhere.'
So I think I'll take matters into my own hands and begin to alter a few things in my life such as the grocery store I shop at and going to blockbuster instead of renting from the convenience store next to my place. Maybe if I 'change it up' I'll meet someone or maybe I'll just be inconvenienced and go back to my old ways. Only one way to find out.